There's no place for the individual in this society as there is in the west. Individuals aren't admired and are even laughed at. If you say you're over 20 years old and haven't any children yet, Indonesians pity you. In fact, to say an outright 'Not' in answer to such queries is too blunt; say instead be/um (not yet). They think that the man or woman who stands alone is unnatural and a little absurd. Loyalties to family, village and friends are more important than self-advancement. Wayang shows, circumcision feasts, gamelan music, happy selamatans, and lovely batik give more joy than getting ulcers and getting rich in the heart attack machine. While traveling through Indonesia always suspend judgement rather than get mad. You can't get mad at 130 million people. Asians rarely show anger and when they do, they go and stick a knife in someone. Amuk (blind terror) is an Indonesian word. They believe that Westerners get angry so quickly because they eat too much meat, that they take themselves far too seriously and don't know how to laugh at themselves. To stand with your hands on your hips while talking with people is regarded as insulting, being the traditional attitude of defiance in wayang theatre.

Don't bring any sentimental attachments towards animals with you. This is Asia. Balinese children jump up and down with glee while dogs die horribly from rifle shot. Don't try extreme dances in Indonesia. The modern Indonesian youth who has received western education has no objection but the older generation considers modern dancing in which couples touch each other blatant and vulgar sexuality. Never kiss in public. Not even relatives. Don't beckon to anybody with your forefinger, it is rude. If you want to beckon with your fingers make a motion using the cupped fingers turned downwards. Neither should you point with your forefinger, use your thumb for pointing. With the disarming smile of a little girl, some Indonesians are skilled at coaxing you into doing things that you only half want to do. If you don't want to do what Indonesians want you to do just say, Bukan adat karni, or 'It is not our custom.' Don't jump into the bathwater, it's for throwing over you. If you have to shit in the open do it in running water. If males need to piss in crowded places, just squat down in a ditch with knees spread to cover you.

About 1000 million people in 3rd World countries piss in this manner onto the earth. Try not to sit with the bottom of your feet pointing at people. Cover your mouth with your hand when picking your teeth. Except for such Indonesian social etiquette, don't change o your whole life-style for them. If you're the really outrageous and flamboyant type, go ahead and show them who you are. These cultures aren't as fragile and delicate as many tourists make them out to be: there's at least 8 civilizations buried under their soil. In Australia you wouldn't ask an Indian woman to take the ring out of her nose, a Thai not to remove his shoes, or ask an Indonesian to take off his peci inside a building or not to board with his 3 wives just so that they be like us. Likewise, they shouldn't except you to change for them. Frayed jeans and a relaxed sexual mores are our culture. They will love you for providing them with your own brand of street theatre. They expect it from orang barat (westerners). There's plenty of kasar characters around, great characters and not really frowned upon. These types usually qualify for the gesture of the forefinger held vertically in front of the nose and between the eyes which means that you, he, or she are mad, stupid, or 'does not speak his brain'. Most Indonesians generally leave outrageous behavior to the village idiot, the traveling gypsy theatre, and to becak drivers.